Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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