I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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