Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
