i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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