theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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