Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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