you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Randomize
