Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
