we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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