you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
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