You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
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alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I checked into jail on foursquare
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
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