like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The police scanner is talking about you again....
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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