he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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