we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
