I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just want to make out with him forever
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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