now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
