He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
