Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize