Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
