NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
His hands were made for my vagina.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
