Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize