if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
