please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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