I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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