dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
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i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
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You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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