Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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