Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
