No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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