please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Bring me that man meat
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
