I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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