you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
