Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm too high and old for this...
tell me about the eggs
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
