I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Randomize
