Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I am mentally ready for anal.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
