Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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