I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
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Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
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I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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