maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize