its not stalking. its research.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
