the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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