Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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