He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
Randomize