yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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