So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
