I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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