Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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