So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
