I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
