I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
