I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
