I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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