so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
