i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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