Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
