FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
