Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
