You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I can't put those talents on a resume
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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