therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
