walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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