what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
