so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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