HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
