Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
